I’m entirely sure that if I were to string all of my life’s joys, triumphs, challenges, detours, and surprises together – they’d bring me to this moment in my life. The moment where my story, my truth, is bursting-at-the-seams… yearning to be told, so that maybe, just maybe, it would give another woman the courage to tell her’s. By stringing all these stories together, we can stand back in awe. Mesmerized by the differences AND held together by the profound similarities.
My desire is that through sharing truth and embracing vulnerability we can begin to see a golden thread of unity woven together between each of us. Drawing us closer and bringing us into a community that is based on courage, integrity, and desire.
There is desire to lean in to our truest self, our Birthright – our radiant Essence of “Wise, Wild, and Free.” On an individual level, when we remember our true Essence, we can then serve as conduits and guides for others. Together, we cultivate societal and cultural shifts.
The pathways to remembering of who you are at your deepest core are numerous. Yet, I believe not in a shortcut – but in an unexplored, and very accessible hidden tunnel that will guide you back to home. This pathway is one of a frequently forgone road of self-care and compassion by way of intimate pleasure and play.
Sounds frou-frou? Were you hoping for me to unveil a five-step strategic plan with a to-do list, checklist, and just about any other kind of list you can imagine? Well, that’s where the disconnect lies – we’ve become so separated from our own needs and desires for pleasure and play that they seem trivial, childlike. And THIS is the exact mindset I’ve been perfecting for years, decades – and it worked – until it really didn’t work… Until things got pretty ugly and I had some hard, stare and barely recognize myself in the mirror, moments questioning all that I knew to be real and true.
If you’re reading this, I’m fairly certain you play pretty big in this world. You serve others, your causes, your family, your business selflessly. Your badge-of-honor is an overflowing calendar of never-ending lists (there is that word again), tasks, projects, and various to-dos. You’re a leader. Maybe a leader of your home, your community, place of work, school, but most definitely in your own life. It might not always feel like you are a leader, but you are. Even on your hardest of days, you are paving a way for all the other leaders who are to come after you.
What else I know is that those of us who serve, who are empaths, who are leaders, march through life pretty selflessly. Where does selfless leave us? Where does it lead you? Where has it led me?
Pretty fucking depleted. Really confused. Frustrated. Burnt-out. Downright disconnected and disembodied from the whole reason we are leading and serving in the first place – to bring the highest good and light to this world every day.
What Can You do for Yourself?
Here is my not-so-secret secret… self-care. Pleasure and play are forms of activism. They are actions that disrupt the status quo. They cultivate resistance to social norms that would have you believe that leadership, service, and your work in the world should be grinding, hard, and depleting. Well, I’m not here to tell you that this is a lie. It is a belief system that we subscribe to, perpetuate, and recreate for our now and our future. I wouldn’t wish a life of depletion on anyone – let alone those I love – and I’m sure you wouldn’t either.
But we’re all complicit – we all bought in and are playing our cards close to our chests and making very big, risky bets. We are betting with our own livelihood and that of all other humans. And when the patriarchal house predictably wins, then what?
What would happen if you took yourself out of this high-stakes game? What if you no longer gambled with your livelihood? What if the games you played were for fun, not for survival? What would your life look like then? What would all of our lives look like then?
To prioritize pleasure, and to actually act upon that prioritization: through practices, rituals, and behaviors is a radical idea in our culture. Especially for movers-and-shakers. In fact, it can be downright disruptive. To identify, state, follow, and fulfill your desires without abandoned takes gusto. It takes commitment to shifting cultural norms, and brass to really follow through.
To follow your bliss can be anything but blissful.
To take up space in the field of pleasure will probably incur you some bumps and bruises along the way. So why do this work? Why make the commitment to caring for you?
I promise it will feel amazing. You’ll access unexpected avenues of creativity, wisdom, power, strength, and courage within. You’ll truly be a pioneer and trailblazer, paving the way for your loved ones, peers, and descendants. If you’re a bit of the rebellious type – and I imagine you are – you’ll contribute to the radical disruption of a society narrowly focused on production and the reduction of people (AKA humans) to output resources. You will literally be enacting social change. In return you will also be so much more capable and resourced to serve your mission, to lead, and to cultivate connections, relationships, and promoting heartfelt community.
So Why this Work?
Because it is so fucking necessary and without it, we become complicit in the oppression and marginalization of all beings.
It is about time. Frankly, the system is burnt-out, and in turn so are we. Something on the whole isn’t working right – and we – We Are The Brave, The Fearless, The Passionate ones that will lead a conscious shift.